As players and coaches, we have had those moments or games were you wish you could erase from existence. Those are the times when you know in your heart you could have done better, but the soccer gods thought that they would use our performance for their amusement. We’ve all had them and, contrary to popular belief, it is a normal part of the growth process. They are in fact, teachable moments.
As a player, I would think to myself, what did I learn? Maybe, the player defending me did their homework and identified my weaknesses. Or, maybe my head wasn’t in it or I didn’t eat a good meal. There could be many factors involved, but the key is to ask the question, what did I learn? Of course you have to first acknowledge that you failed. Then comes the analysis, or more accurately, the reverse-analysis. You know you failed, so you back track from the result and look at every step to identify and understand what led to that failure. As a truly competitive player, I never wanted to fail and believed that failure meant I was severely deficient in one area or another. Only later in my career did I understand that I will fail, it’s just a matter of how I grow from that failure.
As a coach, you are the leader, the project manager, the maestro of your team. Coaches should encourage their players to fail. Feel that sting and never forget it. Take that shot from 40 yards out, try taking on 2 players, or get off the goal line and try to punch the ball. Failure provides for teaching moments to help players improve. A player that fails can adapt and adjust to the flow of the game instead of believing that they never fail and when they do, they become mired in the fog of self-doubt. When a player fails, the coach should not jump all over the player and crush their spirit. This approach will only lead to a lack of confidence in themselves and their abilities. Coaches should acknowledge the player’s failure and follow it up with an alternative course of action that could have led to a better outcome. The coach should continue to reinforce the alternative route in practices and in games. Sometimes its best to walk through the failure with the player, so they will remember how it felt at that time in order to imprint it on them. The player might not fully grasp the alternative approach the first, second, or third time, but the job of the coach is to teach and encourage players to fail in order to be successful.
It is in our nature not to want to fail, but everything we have done or will do involves failing at one point or another. Sometimes its subtle and sometimes its epic, but it is how you rise from the ashes that determines success. As a coach, use it as a teaching moment to help players grow. At first, players will be hesitant to trust that failure is acceptable, but they soon will warm up to and trust the concept. As a player, one must fall to learn to get up. Learn from that errant pass, or that hasty shot that went wide, or that ball that went through your legs for a goal. And when that light goes off and the soccer gods have blessed you, know that you turned your failure into a success.
SoccerMist 